Direct answer: Before accepting a bigger job, ask where you want impact, what feeling you are chasing, what you will do all day, what work you will give up and what else could create the impact or feeling you want. Make sure you want the daily job, not only the offer.
Key takeaways
- Every level up can mean less of the work you loved.
- A title may not create the feeling you expect.
- Compare the daily work with what you will give up.
- Make sure you want the job, not only the moment it is offered.
Before you take the promotion, ask one question nobody puts in the job description: what will I stop doing when I move up?
My producer is an Army veteran. He loved the work that drew him to the military in the first place. As he moved up, more of the job became paperwork and telling other people what to do. He did not want to spend his career moving farther away from the work he loved.
My fiancé is an award-winning chef who oversees multiple restaurants. People hear “chef” and assume he cooks all day, every day. He does not. And I know how much he loves what he does especially when his sleeves are rolled up and he’s shoulder-to-shoulder with the team. Leadership changed the job.
That is the tradeoff nobody explains clearly enough. The next level can bring more influence, money and recognition. It can also bring more administration and less of the work that made you want the career in the first place.
I worked with a woman we're going to call Amy. She reached the senior vice president role she had wanted. Two weeks in, she was near tears and questioning whether she'd made the right choice. She had moved away from the hands-on work she loved into overseeing other people doing it.
I had my own version. On the first day of a job I thought I wanted, my boss told me to fire somebody. “I'll give you 30 days.” Who says that? I learned very quickly what the title was actually asking me to do.
Corporate America is made up. The titles are made up. The spreadsheets, the PowerPoints and the meeting before the meeting are made up. The daily work and its effect on your life are not.
Before you say yes, ask:
- Where do I want to have impact?
- What feeling am I chasing: secure, recognized, influential, strategic or accomplished?
- What will I do all day in this role?
- What work will I give up?
- What else could create the impact or feeling I want?
The bigger job may be exactly right. Just make sure you want the job, not only the moment when somebody offers it to you.
The title is not the feeling
People are often chasing a feeling, not a milestone. Senior vice president and CEO are milestones. The feeling underneath may be security, recognition, influence or accomplishment.
The letdown comes when somebody reaches the new role and discovers the feeling is not there.
Every level up is a trade. The four-star general is not the person flying the fighter jet. Before you accept, ask which part of your current work you never want to give up.
| Area | Question to ask |
|---|---|
| Impact | Where do I want to have impact? |
| Feeling | What feeling am I chasing? |
| Daily work | What will I do all day? |
| Tradeoff | What work will I give up? |
| Alternative | What else could create the impact or feeling I want? |
If the role depends on honest upward feedback, use four specific questions in the next one-on-one.
Frequently asked questions
What should I ask before accepting a promotion?
Ask what you will do all day, what work you will give up and what impact or feeling you expect the role to create. Ask for insight as to what you are accountable for, and what tasks and responsibilities you now should delegate to your team.
Why can a promotion feel wrong?
A promotion can bring more influence and recognition while moving you away from the hands-on work you enjoy.
How can I separate the title from the job?
Compare the feeling you expect from the title with the daily responsibilities and tradeoffs of the actual role.
What if I still want the bigger job?
The bigger job may be right. Make sure you want its daily work and tradeoffs, not only the moment when somebody offers it.
About Catie
Catie Campbell is an executive coach, emotional intelligence expert, speaker and truth-teller.
Next step: Get the No-Manual Meeting Kit and use its boundary conversation to clarify the role before you say yes.